Perhaps man invented fire, but woman invented how to play with fire.
not your juliet Ika Marissa Waty; turning eighteen and happier. A very jaunty human who always look on the brighter side of life. However, I have my own set of flaws. In fact, everyone has. All in all, I don't want to be a competitive person cause when I do, I'll stop being happy. I'll be and live as who I am. the crowd Adeline Aini Amalina Aminah Amirah Fadzli Faradea Hamid Hanes Indra Jasma Jenny Jordon Jun Jie Liana Mizah Nad Sabrina Sherry Shiing Sophia Suhaila Syafiqah Sylvia Thomas Tobi spit it out ShoutMix chat widget never look back and regret March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 Credits ©Glamouresque.	Friday, January 30, 2009 A bunch of roses and a slice of chocolate cake. Happy three. Lovesssssssssssssss hell lots (: Wednesday, January 28, 2009 I'll be waiting for you, whatever it takes. Monday, January 26, 2009 Everything seems to be taking its toll on me. Maybe this is what I deserve after doing so much sins. All I could do was breakdown and cry, thinking if smne special will ever walk out on me one day. I'm such a disappointment, what more a good person. I feel like I've ruined smne's life. An innocent one. Sometimes, I feel like a jinx too. Anyone close to me will be cursed or bad luck strikes on them. I don't deserve any kindness or good deeds from anyone. Be glad if you don't know me. All I want is just to be loved and succeed for the future. However, everything is crashed and burnt into ashes. All I want is happiness, but I can't seem to have any, and neither do others. Everytime we quarrel, I'm the who started everything. I'm the one who gives in. And I'm the one to begs for forgiveness. I know I'm entirely to blame for everything. Maybe this is a big mistake. Stepping into your life was the biggest mistake. Each time you told me to forget it without sorting things out, it just feels that I'm useless. I want to be better if you let me know my mistake, but you just want me to get worst and repeat my mistakes. Idk what I can do right now. I thought I'll be a useful person being with you but things didn't turned out how we want it to be. I'm sorry. At the same time, I'm grateful to you. I've prepared myself for the worst, but I know you wouldn't do such things. Whatever decisions you make, I'll respect it. Without a doubt, I love you. Heading to Mac at Civic. Meeting up with darling cousin and niece. Can't wait to be a lunatic (: And, Happy Lunar New year! (: Sunday, January 25, 2009 I got lost inside your eyes. Went to niece's place last night for a kenduri. Had a great time catching up with fellow cousins and niece, who is like the same age as me. God, I'm so olddddddddd, for an aunite lah. We talked from nonsense to beyond everything. Don't wanna elaborate. Haha. Overall, I had a fabulous time, plus the delicious and scrumptuos dinner served. So, my Sunday was practically a-okay as I spent the day with him. He taught me abit of Maths and I got to admit, he's quite good to be a tutor. Lol. And I was so so slowwwwww. Glad that he's patient (: Headed to CWP to check out some slippers he desired to see. In fact, buy it cause something happened to his slippers. Hah, don't wanna talk about it. Overall, I loved today, as I get to spent quality time with him and yes, it was more than enough (: No school tomorrow and Tuesday. However, it's not a sign of enjoyment. Instead, it's the time to complete the homeworks given for the holidays. I need to do more sketches for art by Thur. Damn, I'm afraid that I will not be able to do at least a board full of sketches by the deadline given. Fyi, it isn't easy sketching a cat,free-hand (!!). Alot more to do other than art. God, I can't stop worrying mayneeeeeeeee. Please don't follow my footsteps. Saturday, January 24, 2009 HAPPY SEVENTEENTH BIRTHDAY NADIRAH BTE HELMY! May all your wishes come true and may you be blessed with lots of love on this special day. Keep rapping your souls off and keep shaking those sexy booty of yours! Also, I love you so much darling. Will never ever forget our friendship which quickly accumulates up to four years and still going on strong. Hope you'll lead a great life ahead and also a blissful relationship with Z. Friday, January 23, 2009 Piece me back together when I fall apart. Hey yo peopooooooooool! (shows the peace sign). I know, I didn't post for about 2 days? I was busy with schoolwork, plus the school activities such as dance. Homeworks keeps coming. There'll be at least one homework a day. Hell yeah, I got selected for SYF (smiles from ear to ear). I'll be looking forward for the dance routine and I'm hoping that we'll get gold this year as we've achieved a silver for the previous SYF which was like 2 years ago. I'm gonna work my arse off to do my best for my self, as well as dance club and the school. Apart from that, I'm also gonna work my arse off even harder for the upcoming common test in February. There'll be countless class test after the Chinese New Year break. I'm sure gonna slog hardddddddddddddd. During the CM Talk in the morning, there was alot of giving away prizes and one of the event was the Class Beautifying Day anddddddd....... my class won! As the class chairperson, I had to run all the way to the front of the parade square to retrieve the certificate. I was shocked when Ms Mas announced my class. Stayed back after school today to clear some doubts with Mdm Arifah regarding maths and chem. Dang, we had a hard time solving and understanding but in the end, it was all worth it. I managed to do it after clearing my doubts. I've been sleeping early these few days. Maybe it's due to school. Imagine, waking up at 6 in the morning and went home latest at 7 if there was dance? I'll then continue to do my homework at night. How can I not be vexed at the end of the day. Only lunatics will still have the energy. I'm sleeeeeeeeeeepy byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Tuesday, January 20, 2009 It'll all get better in time. School was okay. I managed to understand Chem's and Maths' lessons. It feels great when you know that you got it. Haha I know lame. I talked things out with Ms Sharifah, the new art teacher about my theme and concept. I heaved a sigh of relief but struggling though. I can't relate to the theme I chosed which was "relaxing" cause I was too fcked up. I'm doing on a specific living thing which has furs and I am taking a long long time to get one sketch done. I'm afraid that I'll be behind time and couldn't catch up. I also have difficulties getting it done. I find it uglaaaay but I know I have to do it. And yes, everyone says it's hard but at least give me some mutual support mayyyyyyyne. Indeed it wasn't easy but I'm doing it, for the sake of my O's. God, please prayyyy hard for meeeeeeeeee. The choreographer couldn't attend today's class due to her falling sick. So, the seniors were in charge and I was glad I already retired. Lol. Don't wish to elaborate. I had alot of laughters, plus painful moments. Common test will be in week 7 and 8, so that means around a month left to go. I'm gonna take the results as where I am standing, whether I still need lots of improvement or work harder. I'm just gonna give my best shot and do whatever it takes to be better. Okay I wna do my homework. Study hard peopoooooooool! Bye! :D Monday, January 19, 2009 My heart is filled with sorrow and despair. Currently, no mood. Very stress. And I mean it. Idk if i should change my art qns cause there's no one else to help me other than Mdm Irda. Idk if I can do so without her guidance. Not only am I frustrated over that situation. I just feel like killing myself to end everything but there's no benefit in doing so. I've not had enough of life. I'm praying very hard and keeping myself strong to overcome all the obstacles that comes my way. I've experienced stress and sacrifices last year due to N's. I'm sure I'll have to do the same for this year but a little bit more. Never did I imagine that I'll suffer at the start of the year til the end, minus 3 or 2 months. When I see the sec 4Es, I just feel useless cause I know there's no way I could be better than them, lest defeat them for O's. They're a genius bunch while I'm struggling my way to be at the same level as them. I know they're working equally hard as me but they have the benefit of being in school for only 4 years while I, 5 darn years. I wanna cry. Sunday, January 18, 2009 Forever has now begun. Good grief, I had a great sleep last nighttttt. Wished that every night I would sleep as soundly. Maybe it was because I kept yawning in the MRT for a countless times that he lost count. Well, I had a great time yesterday and he made it all happened by making me laugh non-stop. Will be heading to Sherry's crib in an hours time to to to to to to to complete our LMS assignments (!!) Gees, it dreads me to see papers with thousands of words or numbers printed on it. I can't bear to see my fingers picking up a pen and start writing while my brain keeps squeezing to let out all my knowledge that was kept deep under. However, no matter how hard I tried, nothing came out as a result. Maybe it was kept too long that it just disppeared. I'm frigging elated to do my MT, which involves a compo and letter writing. Still, I need to do so in order to ace my MT. Like what I said, I'm bad in my own mother tongue. I'm aiming for at least a B3 for my MT in O's. Yeah, it's a huge jump to get myself a B3 as I got a 3 for N's. Converted to O's standard, I'll at least get a C5/6. I'm really gonna work my butts off. Also for my other subjects. My weakest link right now is Maths. Inevitable. Hope I'll have a tutor to teach me this subj which I loved but somehow I just won't pass which makes me hate the subj in the end. Okay I need to get myself ready now as I'm going to Sugar Plum Fairy's Palace located across the street. Lol. Byeeeeee. Saturday, January 17, 2009 There's only one thing two do three words four you. I had a blast today, all thanks to him. I gave him a treat to Mad Jack located at Park Lane. I ordered Fish and Chips while he ordered the tallest burger in town and indeed, it was tall. However, it doesn't taste anything like a regular burger. Instead, it tasted exactly like murtabak. Haha. Also, there was like one full slice of pineapple in the middle (!?). Oh yeah, we also ordered Oreo Madness Cheese Cake for dessert. Lucky enough that we only ordered one cause we were so mad as we couldn't finish up our meal. We were bloated and keep burping our hearts out. The cool thing was, we were given the "sofa seats". We have no idea why but they give us the sofa seats though there was only the two of us but it can actually fit four people. Maybe they purposely let us sit there cause they know that we'll grow horizontally after the meal? Okay I know, damn frigging laaaaaaaaaayme. And I loved the things he did in the MRT on the way home. (: I have not completed my LMS assignments. For Go's sakkkkkkkkkke, why the hell must they take advantage of the three days to let us do alot and alot of asignments? I thought we're supposed to follow the timetable??????????! This is definitely unfair and I prefer attending school than sitting in front of the computer doing the stoooooooooopidest things online. And when there's some corruption, we're not able to do it but in the end, we're entirely to blame. God, go for some soul-searching. Thursday, January 15, 2009 loving smeone is nt because she is perfect bt bcoz seeing an imperfect person thru my eyes -him Sorry seems to be the hardest word. For the first time ever, I'm blogging early in the morning. Well, not really that early. The sun has rised up. Well, this is due to me studying at home using the LMS. I find it quite pathetic cause it is so inconvenient to do your work in front of the computer and if there is some problems like not able to see the slides, it'll be our problem, not the teachers -.-" And I tell ya, the teachers are taking the opportunity to give us as much work as possible and hand everything up next week. How dare they do this. And currently, I'm struggling with doing MT because I have no idea what the want me to do for the karangan and surat kiriman rasmi. Lol. Also, geog. God, I hate it. Went to Orchard yesterday to retrieve something which I ordered with Sherry. I feel like burnig down the shop. Cause why? It hasn't opened, even at 3 in the afternoon?! Damn, how are you gonna make business?! He came and accompanied us. We waited for like 2 frigging hours and finally I retrieved the stuff. Headed home and he sent me home while Sherry meet someone elase and "Oodlands". Lol. So, the stuff that I retrieve earlier was meant for him. Yes, for him. Hoped he likes it veli veli muchi. Something unfortunate happened but it was all smiles. ((((((((: Having dance later in the afternoon. My body still aches, but not as bad as yesterday's, when everyone accidentally hit on my aches, I would shout (!!) Lol. Okay, I should start on my LMS right now. Goooooooooooood morning peopolllllllllllllllll :D Tuesday, January 13, 2009 All for nothing. Another hectic week of school. I struggled my chem on oxidation and reduction. I know it's easy for those who got it but I'm having a hard time to understand the basic okay. I know, I'm frigging slowwwwwwwwwwww. So what, I'm trying my best here okay. It was the release of the O level results yesterday, and I witnessed it, again. Eventhough I was not the one taking the results, my hair just stands. The adrenaline was so intense mayne. There was tears of joy, but from what I see, majority of them was crying of sadness. I can't imagine myself being in their position next, taking MY O level reults. Gah, I can't believe that I'm sitting for my O's this year. I swear I'm goona work my butts off to get to the course that I desired. It was the release of the O level art paper 1 and hell yeah, I went to the lib at night just to get my research done, and I did. Not gonna tell what I'm doing but I bet it's gonna be interesting. We had a change of instructor due to some reasons and wellllllllll, I can say that she's better than the previous one, eventhough she is stricter. At least there will be some discipline. She's an interesting and unique instructor. Her warm-ups was, creative? And her way of teaching is much clearer! Haha. Will be stuck at home for E-learning from tomorrow til Friday, plus the weekends, so it will 5 days in total. This is due to the sec 3s going for their camp. Okay I'm lazy. Byeeeeee. Saturday, January 10, 2009 Everybody in the club right now, tell the dj to turn it loud. Okay, let's start from Friday, which was yesterday. He gave me a surprise early in the morning by showing himself up and walking to school with me. I was speechless and my cheeks was red as I was blushing. Almost everyone who saw us together look at us like one of a kind. Well, we don't give a damn. Like what Sherry said, "It's about time." PE lessons was great. I didn't participate due to cramps. PLayed Captain's Ball and my class was competing against 4E5. I can feel the adrenaline whiich made me cheered my class. in the end, my class won with the score 15-9. I've never felt the unity in my class til yesterday. It was a great feeling. Lessons was okay, and I'm starting to love my class cause firstly, it's not humid like how my previous class almost killed us. Secondly, I could use some exercise to gain some muscles and it is located on the fourth floor. Stayed back after school to decprate the class for the upcoming beautifying day. I find it silly but what to do, we still have to do. In the afternoon, he gave me another surprise; Caramel Frappe. I don't know what's up with him yesterday as there wasn't any occasion or such. However, I still have to thank him for whatever he has done for me. He sent me home and I shouldn't elaborate more. Bet you'll get a rough idea. Haha. Went to Ngee Ann Poly's Open House today with Sherry, Soph and Yanie and I assure you, I wna go there. At first, I was interested with the course; Early Childhood, but then I got more interested in this particular course; Child Psychology. And yes, I'm aiming for that course after O's. I wna slog hard to get what I want. Headed to Far East Plaza to have lunch at EsTeler. I swear the fried noodles I ordered could make me flood the whole place. It was damn hot and spicy. However, I managed to finish it up and take the heat. Lol. Take a stroll around Orchard. In the end, I met him in the evening. It was a memorable evening. Don't ask me why, cause it's only between me and him. Overall, I only have one thing to say; I love him very much, and only him. Thursday, January 8, 2009 Now put yo hands up. Sorry people, I've been busy with school stuffs like homeworks and the CCA open house which was held today. It went well but the stoopid farking AVA boys was being suck big farkers. Don't even know how to play the song well when they only need to press next. It didn't actually happen to my dance piece but to the malay dance piece. However, we're still one society and I was equally frustrated and mad. Let's put that away. I am extremely tired. I've been attending rugby and soccer matches this week (??) Not only that, I've started reading on a novel by Jodi Picoult since yesterday. Hopefully I'll read constantly and not give up halfway like what I used to do; Engrossed at the start but lazy in the end. Lastly, I missed us, so much. How I wish we could be like the photograph above forever. Eventhough we're no more a clique in school or wherever, I'll never forget any of you. In fact, I'll never forget what we did together for these past four years, from the craziest thing to the most sentimental moments, like going our separate ways. Hope to see you girls soon. You girls are always the best (: Monday, January 5, 2009 Baby, we'll get out of this mess. Went to school with Afiq, since he wanted to go with me so much since the first day of school but I went with Sherry. Bumped with an idiot who enjoys making up stories on the way to school. I can bet he'll make up another fabulous story about me and it'll be the latest gossips in school. Say whatever you want asshole. You don't have a life, that's why. Keep staring at me as if my boobs are coming out. I'll poke both of your eyes if you were ever to lay your eyes on my face again. School was, plain (??) Idk, nothing much happened. It was as normal as any other school days. Had dance meeting after school Discussed about this Thur's CCA Open House and sort out the costumes. And I'll be performing. I'm feeling redundant though. So lazy lah. Haha, but it's okay. For the sake of everyone, I'll do it. Watched the rugby match between Admiralty and Greenridge and dang, the euphoria was intensed. I keep gasping when I say a hard fall made by the guys. It must be painful and I'll be crying if I were to be them. But they're guys. They're....... like that. Haha. They're strong. Eventhough Admiralty lost, they still tried their best and I'm sure everyone's proud of them, including me. It's okay guys, just work harder and you'll make it. He played and I am extremely proud of him. he just gave me a call and I was delighted to hear that he was alright. Dance practice tomorrow.... WO PU YAO WO PU YAO! Can I at least skip the warm-up? It kills me to death mayneeeeeeee. Not only that, it leads me to limping instead of walking. I can bet two blood vessels or muscles will burst again. Lol. OKay I wna eat KFC. BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Sunday, January 4, 2009 A dirty little secret. Sunday was a lethargic and boring day for me. However, I managed to get myself occupied by tuning in to two great movies played on tv. First one was "She's the Man", starring Amanda Bynes and Channing Tatum, followed by "A Cinderella Story" starring Hilary Duff and Chad Michael Murray. I loved both movies equally as much as I love the celebs, especially the guys. God, I can't take my eyes off them, and how I envy Amanda and Hilary getting the chance to act with them. I know Channing is gay, but so what? He's hot! But Chad is even sizzling hot. Ohmyggggggg, why the hell am I drooling over these people?! I have my own man to drool over! Lol. And tomorrow's school already?!?! Indeed, time does flies farking fast. My schoolbag is definitely heavy, and I'm prepared to start hardwork and face stress. And did I tel ya that I was not nominated but pointed out straight by Mrs Seah that I'll be the cahirperson of the class?! Yes I know, I've upgrade myself from vice-chair to chairperson. Unfortunately, I was unhappy. I wanted to "retire" mayne. I've been doing this job for almost two years and can you let me have a break? Oh well, I can't change anything now. I just have to blame myself for being such a responsible and goodie-good student. He'll be having a rugby match after school tomorrow. I'm wishing him best of lucks and most importantly, please take care of yourself. We'll be having less quality time together since school has started and both of us are busy with our own things such as CCAs. I'll be missing him terribly but I won't let it affect my studies. I'll learn how to priotise my time with schoolwork and him. We'll set aside some time for each other and hope that we'll catch up on things. Though we'll not be able to see each other often, I'll keep on loving him and this won't break us apart. Saturday, January 3, 2009 Rolled right off my back. I've not been updating since, idk when. So let's take it nice and slow. I'll summarised everything up to prevent tiring myself and bore the readers (: On the eve of new Year's Day, went to my aunt's house to help out with malay delicacies, followed by the stoopid pathetic countdown (don't ask me why) held at Civic Centre with Sherry and Sheeq. Sort of headed to Vivo's countdown (winks) then headed to Sherry's crib. Lepak with Hamid then head home and yes, I was back home very late. This was the only time of the year I could get my arse at home later than any later. Thankies to my parents who are very understandable, I think. Sherry persuade me to sleepover at her house but I was too afarid. I didn't get my things ready eg. my contact lens and my spectacles. How can I see without them? Maybe next time alright? Or maybe next year? Hehe. On New Year's day, okay wait. Where did I go? Oh yes, I stayed at home. And I was frigging bored. Boredom kept disturbing me, that's why. And the next day wassssssssssssssss......, The first day of school. 3 words; I hate it. teacher's remained the same, except for Math and MT teacher, plus the classroom?! God, who owned that class before us? It was disastrous. I hate everything. And I can assure that I'll never like this year. I just want to pass my O's and get kicked out of this school, which was one of my new year resolution. This si atrocious. After school, headed to my aunt's place again to help out in her "factory". Sleepover and continued working today. Met him in the afternoon and boy, was I glad to finally meet him. I smiled, I laughed, I whined, I cried. I was just thankful and afraid at the same time. Okay I'm done here. Go sleep lah.