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Perhaps man invented fire,
but woman invented how to play with fire.
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not your juliet
Ika Marissa Waty; turning eighteen and happier. A very jaunty human who always look on the brighter side of life. However, I have my own set of flaws. In fact, everyone has. All in all, I don't want to be a competitive person cause when I do, I'll stop being happy. I'll be and live as who I am.
the crowd
Adeline
Aini
Amalina
Aminah
Amirah
Fadzli
Faradea
Hamid
Hanes
Indra
Jasma
Jenny
Jordon
Jun Jie
Liana
Mizah
Nad
Sabrina
Sherry
Shiing
Sophia
Suhaila
Syafiqah
Sylvia
Thomas
Tobi
spit it out
ShoutMix chat widget never look back and regret
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
Credits
©Glamouresque. |
Monday, September 29, 2008
The worse day of my life.  Even before I could sit for my N level paper today, something ironic happened. I hereby declare that today was the worst day of my life so far cause when I wanted to put on my shoes outside the house, MY SCHOOL SHOES WENT MISSING (?!?!?!?!) Yes, missing. It ws neither on the racks nor the store. I quickly ran to my parent's room and knock on their door claiming that my shoes went missing. I don't understand WHY must these people steal my school shoes (??) Okay, maybe I'm partly at fault for putting the shoes outside the house but I've seen pairs of school shoes iutsdie their houses and nothing happened. Why must it happen to me? And why must it be today out of all the days? In the end, I wore my Adidas shoes to school (-.-") When I reached school, all I could do was cry. Firstly because, I'm afraid that I am not able to sit for the paper. Secondly, I felt angry. Friends were coaxing me and all I did was wiped my tears. My dad called the school to inform them about my issue and my co-ft helped me settle the issue. In the end, I was able to sit for the paper. However, I was somehow ashamed with what I was wearing on my feet. People just stared and wonder like " eh asal dgn die ni? saje je pakai." or "did she wake up from the other side of the bed or what?" However, I had to put all this aside cause I'm sitting for a national exam which only comes once. I had my combined sci paper and it was okay. Hope I get at least grade 2 or 3. It ended at 11am and maths ppr is at 2pm. Nad told me that she had extra school shoes at home, same size as Sheeq's. Sheeq borrowed her's to me and she wore Nad's as she was heading to Nad's house. Okay, so at least I won't have to waste my money buying on a new one. I'll only buy a new pair if I get myself into sec 5. (: Did some final revision before the paper start. It turned out quite okay but not confident of getting good marks cause I've already tried my best.Thank you to those who coaxed me when I had a breakdown. This includes teachers too, and the principal (??) who gave me constant coaxing and encouragement for me to do well. Saturday, September 27, 2008
 My darling class-4N2 I know that this is my second post of the day but I'm bored (-.-") 30 mins away till break-fast. Actually, I've breaked-fast in the morning alr. LOL :D Cannot tahan ah. Since Thursday I keep forcing myself to fast till evening but today, I can't take it. Oh well, looks like I have to pay back a week and a day. Alaaaaaaaaaaa, I've only breaked fast intentionally once this year, rather than my other classmates, especially Bobo, whome fats only for two days. Shame shame siaaaaaaaaaa. Like girl. Eh, not like girl. I mean, WORST than girl. Hee :D I don't give a care if he reads this portion of the post, cause I've said even nastier things to him in school. Hee. :D I love disturbing and carik pasal with him. So does he. And I envy his cotton candy matrep john travolta hair. Lol :D I wonder how it'll be if my class splits at the end of the year. It won't be the same again. No matter how much I brag about my class' nonsense and lack of discipline which always caused the whole class to get into trouble, I still love them. Being in the same class with them since last year, we're like a family. When I feel down in the morning, they'll make me feel better in no time. There's no strategies in cheering me up but being around with them is a delight. Graduation day will be held on the 17th of Oct. I can bet that they'll play those graduation songs eg a commom graduation song by Vitamin C, which will make feel sad. In fact, tear's will come rolling down my cheeks. I'm just to sad to let go of everyone. They're the best. (:  Went to Geog remedial in the morning, followed by personal coaching by Mr Yeo regarding Maths and it was only me, Sherry and Soph. had a haircut. Hee :D Well, I just mantain the hairlength and layered it and wow, it turned out nice, eventhough it has no difference. The hairdresser trimmed my hair and now it's super thin. Well, not really, at least thinner than my previous thick hair but I'm sure that it's grow thicker again as time pass. Since I didn't wna go home early, went to Sherry's crib. Don't ask what we did cause most of things we did was laughing over silly things. Mugged for awhile and headed home. And now, I've just finished cleaning up my room. Finally :D I can't believe that my room was so dusty till I had a moment of sneezes. Oh well, it's done and I'm glad that it's more neater than the previous look. Mum won't be nagging at me for having a messy room anymore. However, I can bet that it'll get messy again in times to come. Standard.To my two lovely girls (above), cheer up ayes. I've gone through this and it was hard. Usually, the girls will suffer. I may not know how you're feeling right now but bear this in mind that don't let your happiness be destroyed by one person. if you don't think of yourself, think of the other people who loves you. They won't want to see you unhappy cause, it's not worth it fretting over something that will not come back. Instead, life has to go on. I'm not making this up but these words are from the both of you. This was the things you said to me when I'm going through my heartache moments. Without you girls, I may have not been able to move on with life. We're still young and there's a whole lot more in store for us. :D Don't keep reproaching yourself cause they're at a loss, not us. We should be stronger so that they'll realize that we're better off without them. If you girls are readong this, hope that you'll feel better. Let's concentrate on our N levels for now aye. Love you girls! (: Friday, September 26, 2008
I'm tired. I spent almost the whole day in the art room trying to complete everything within the day. At last, I managed to complete almost all. I'm only left with one pen rendering and my final artwork. I still need to touch up on certain things. With the help of Tok Guru, I managed to do things faster. I keep cracking my fingers and now, it's all weak and loose yet I can still type this post out. (: The month of September sucks balls whole lot. Many unexpected things happen and problems keep coming one by one. One of the common problems are relatioships. Some couples are celebrating their 1 year anniversary while some couples are going through hard time to patch things up. However, it all came to an end. Well, which includes me. All we could do was cry but that doesn't help. Being strong is what we're supposed to do. Life has to go on and we can't let one person let you down. Losing one is nothing cause you got tonnes more who really appreciates and is willing to be friends or be with you. Let this be a lesson learnt. And I admit, I did learn my lesson. With constant support and encouragement from family and friends, you'll be fine. If you don't think of yourself, think of the people who loves you. I've washed my hands off him and I don't want to have any relations with him. All I have to do now is focus on my N levels, cause a guy like him is not worthed to be held down. He was the one at a loss. My weekends will be thrashed with worsheets, notes, calculator, TYS and prep works. Come on Ika, one week left. You only have Monday, Tuesay and Friday left till N level is officially over(!!) Thursday, September 25, 2008
 This is how my life is now. Destructed.So, that's the reason huh? I've finally got the answer to my doubts. After all the times you left me hanging, this is what I get? I admit, I regret for giving you a second bloody chance and in the end, I get hurt again. but don't worry, no one's gna make me hurt again. You intended to leave me, so that you can go to your dreamgirl. Lucky you didn't play timer, If you did, I would have cursed you. But still, I feel used and taken advantage of. You were not proud to have me as your girlfriend right? I'm a loser, compared to your new girl. You have a big ego which I can't stand and you take girls by their apperance or what? I know I lack of beauty and good personality but why me? I've sacrificed almost everything for you but you don't feel appreciative at all. You didn't even said the word 'sorry' when you left me. Maybe it's because you really wanted to let me go. But why do you asked for a second chance in the first place? And why am I stupid enough to give you one? You've hurt me once yet I gave you anoher chance. However, you didn't treasure that chance. I don't even know if you really loved me even though you said you do. To avoid any quarrels, I believed you. All I did was to give in. I've finally learnt my lesson and I'm washing my hands off you. I don't hate you but I hated what you did to me which makes me hate you even more. The sight of you make me turned furious and miserable at the same time. I've finally seen your true colour. My last words for you; You're heartless. Tuesday, September 23, 2008
No one's gna make me hurt again. School was havoc, as usual. With the lunatic friends around, I've turned into one too. The weather was scorching hot and all I cld do was to fan myself and wiped off my perspiration. I spotted his face twice, and that brought down my mood but not for long. I knew that I couldn't keep letting myself down just because of an idiot. Being with the crazy company was much benefitted and fun. He is just a jerk. I know I shouldn't talk bad about a person during this fasting month but it's not bad-mouthing. It's a fact. He's the biggest coward I've ever met. However, he's part of my history. Okay enough about that person. I'm enjoying life to fullest. Okay, not now, as I'm taking the N level papers soon and after that, I'll enjoy life to the fullest. But not for long. ): After the one week break, we have to come back to school for bridging class which is for 3 weeks(exclaimation marks). In the end, we only get to have our hols for only 1+ month. Not fair! They keep emphasising that after exams, you can enjoy all you want. Like what they say, "suffer now, enjoy later". but at the same time, this is a good time to have a taste of O level so that we cld make up our mind whether to continue sec 5 or not when the results are out. -Broken heart again, another lesson learnt. Monday, September 22, 2008
Just watch you fall. This week will be such a rush. At the same time, it'll fly so fast. It's exactly 7 days away from the combined sci paper, maths paper 1 and art paper 2. I swear I have no idea how I'm gna do for my art paper. It's just too much laaaaaaaaaaah. I also think that my prep work is not good enough as I'm only doing one side while majority are doing on both sides. I managed to complete half of my development today with much fixing here and there. But still, I have alot more to go. I don't care, I'm gna use marker for my final artwork. It'll defintely save my worries. However, I better buy a spare marker, just in case cause, anything can happen. Like what they say "shit happens" and it can occur ANYTIME. Have you ever wonder what it would be like having someone who loves you wholeheartedly and is truly sincere for his love towards you? Well, I ever wonder, but never experience it. Actually, there was once, but I'm not sure if he was really serious in our relationship. Well, he can go and die. I've always felt envious towards couples walking around Orchard Road holding hands and smiling. I can feel how euphoric their life is with a partner by their side. There is this feeling where you'll feel secure and warmth being around him or her and never wna let go cause you're love towards him or her was unexplainable. No words could describe how much you love him or her. You just want them to be there for you always. How I envy this people. I know I'm still young and there's still a whole of fishes left in the pond. It's up to me whether I know how to fish or not. As long as I have my loved ones by my side, everything will be alright (: Saturday, September 20, 2008
Perhaps its too late to turn back time and start all over again. Instead, we should learn from our mistakes and not let history repeat itself right? I believe that I'm too naive and soft-hearted for this kind of situation but I fear of hurting others. In the end, I hurt myself. Through this process, people still do not realize how concern I am towards them.Maybe its true that "it doesn't pay to be kind." I knwo its over, but it still lingers in my mind, edging beneath the heart. I hate ego, cause it just takes over someone. It can bring a person down, even its own pride. It's useless saying in it now but, a gentle reminder, I don't accept fools. Thursday, September 18, 2008
I am sosososooso tired today. And I mean, really tired. I spent almost the whole day in school doing on my art. After school, I headed straight to aunt's hse at Yishun to pick up some stuff. Ironically, I took a nap instead :D I slept for almost 2 hours. I know, Imma a huge sleepyhead :D Went home and took the bus. Bumped into some Sec 3 boys in the bus whom I also bumped into at the bustop. So funny to meet the people whom you seen from the start and see them in the end. My weekends will be thrashed by slogging hard and completing my assignments. At school, during Chem period, Mr Ong called a few names from my class to see him after class for a short meeting. Surprisingly, the students who were called, including, were selected to try an O level MCQ practice paper. I felt so.. clever? Not really, cause I myself don't have the confidence to do it. It's not a MUST anyway. It's just an experiment or tryna get the feel being a O level taker. If I can't do it, I'll just put it aside and concentrate on my N level instead of cracking my brains for crying out loud. PS: I Hate Him. Very Much. This week, I've been very busy. My schedule was packed with assignments. Since I have 11 more days left to the N Level remaining papers, I should work hard for the last lap right? I do wna ace my grades. Hopefully I'll get a 1 on at least 1 subj. I've just completed doing my geog assignment, which is to draw the river features found on the upper, middle and the lower course from chpt 6. I managed to finish up 2 sketches today. However, I still have alot more to do. Well, that is not what I'm worried about. I'm afraid that I am not able to do my final design within the three hours on the 30th. My final artwork is damn complicated, with the wires and fuse in plugs and kettles stuffs like that. Well, I'm doing on gadgets and it was not as easy as I thought. I'm currently very vex from all the pen renderings I did today. Plus the assignment. I'm gna finish up one sketch by tonight, I think so. Tomorrow will be a short day but I'll be heading to my aunt's hse in the afternoon to help her out with the kuehs. On Saturday morning, I'll be having geog remedial again from 11am-12.30noon. Okay, at least I get to sleep a little longer. At the same time, I hope that all my initiatives and effort will be paid off by the end of the year, when the results will be out. (: Tuesday, September 16, 2008
It was a very tiring and lazy day in school today. I spent the day in school mostly on science. Now I'm feeling very hungry, but don't worry. Less than 2 hours left to a big feast. Well, not really a feast but just a satisfaction to my tummy (: People are changing. Not for the better but for the worse. What's happening to the world? During remedial, I sat with 2 of my chinese classmates and they shared with me stories of the students in school like how a group of friends drifted apart and why they backstabbed each other stuffs like that. I find it very childish and immature. We were not gossiping but stating the fact. Also, there's rumours about a girl getting herself pregnant?! Omgaaaaaaaaaaaaaah please lah, tak sabar nk ade anak ke pe? I don't understand what is so great of having a married man as your boyfriend and you're now bearing his child? Does it signifies his love towards you by having sex?! You're still an underage and there's a whole of things in store for you. You can have as many boyfriends as you want but why til the climax of having a foetus in your tummy now which is gna grow bigger day by day and give birth to it after 9 months?! I know you shouldn't abort it as the baby is innocent but you shouldn't have done it in the first place. By that, you have to drop out of school and suffer having a child. I just pity these people. I know I should mind my own business but I'm talking sense right here! Well, no use fretting about it as it has already happen. I have no mood for Raya this year. Don't know why. Maybe its due to having the remaining papers during the last 2 days for of fasting before Raya and having to stay at home on the 2nd day of Raya as I'll be taking the last paper on the 3rd of Oct. Yeah, its over for me but poor thing to the O level takers. I have not made up my mind on where to go after this. I don't know whether to continue sec 5 or go straight to H.Nitec. There are advantages of going up to sec 5, but there are disadvantages too. The same goes to H.Nitec. Maybe what I should now is to focus and study hard for the remaining papers and leave it all to the results in December. Okay I'm done here. Toodles ~! Sunday, September 14, 2008
 I went to my aunt's house on the weekends. Went to help out to do some delicacies for the upcoming Hari Raya where there's alot of people ordering from her, so decided to give her a hand. Anw, I'm getting paid. LOL :D I'm feeling very vex and lazy now. How time flies, Tomorrow is another new week and a new day. School for students and it's exactly 2 weeks to the N level remaining papers. Gta work hard yo! Toodles~! Saturday, September 13, 2008
 The war is finally over. I admit, I feel sad, but at the same time, a sense of relief. However, my girlfriends made my day. We went to break-fast at EsTeler, whom Sheeq had booked earlier. Ira was &%^%^* late and Nad, Sherry and I decided to go first. In the end, we met her at ard 5+ at Cineleiseure instead of 3.45 and she was with "Smoochy". *Kening naik2* Ahah. He seems shy but oh well, he was standing in front of 5 ladies. LOL :DDDDD Then we walked all the way to Esplanade. Took pics on the way and cam-whored at the rooftop. Euphoria was in the air and it has been such a long time since the 5 of us had an outing. Finall, the day has come. Left Esplanade at ard 10 and reached home at ard 11.30, which almost made me grounded. As usual, parents will nag and nag on and on and on. Hehe. Oh well, once in a while. It was a sad occasion for me but I was able to put it behind my back and move on. I beleive I'm just a naive and dumb girl. Thursday, September 11, 2008
I just want this war to be over. I've been having long thoughts since that day. Maybe he's not the one. Wednesday, September 10, 2008
All I could do now is cry and pray that everything will be alright. Baby, I'm sorry and I miss you. Let's put the episode ehind us and start on a new one. Monday, September 8, 2008
 Had school as per normal, but I believed that I did maths revision the wholeeeeeeeee day in school. Sheesh. Glad there's science tmr. At least not maths totally, as EL is completed. Oh yarh, and Geog too. I'll be starting to fast again tmr, as my period is overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Yes at lasssssssst. I've alr bought an outfit for Hari Raye, and its black. Had Arnold's for dinner ystd after sucha a long time not stepping into that restaurant and get my fingers oily on those deep fried chickens! Hmm, yumm. Tmr will be my 1 mth with Baby (: Hope you people will bless me to a long and blissed relationship with him and I love my Baby very much. (: Thursday, September 4, 2008
Finally, I've completed the first three papers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *jumps for joy* But, it's not over yet. There's still a few more to go in 3 weeks time. That is when I will shout " IT'S OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" It's raining heavily now, and feeling chilly. Few lightnings striked. Curretly chatting with Lee Shafiq. I spent my whole afternoon taking a nap and watching a japanese game show which made me laugh my heart out on youtube. This was recommended bt Afiq. (thanks bro!) I'll be heading to my aunt's hse tomorrow and Saturday to help out in making "kuehs" which people ordered from her. At least I'll earn some extra pocket money. Hehe. Okay toodles people bye. Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Let it rain. I almost died in the morning. I was suffering from a major cramp. On the way to school, my legs went jittery and my vision suddenly went blur. I sat at a nearby bench as I don't wna faint in the middle of the pathway. A few classmates saw me and asked me to go to school with them, in case anything happens. When I reached school, I straight away went to the canteen and sat down. I began crying in silent as I was bearing the pain. I started to sweat and my face went pale. Sherry and the others came to see if I was alright. As I was not fasting, I ate the menstrual pill and almost died of choking. Soph bought some sweet tooths from the stall and asked me to eat some so that my I'll be abit better as it contains sugar and gives energy. Went up to the respective classes for the MT LC and Sherry helped me went up the stairs. I was still feeling the pain in class. Fortunately, the pain started to calm down and I was able to do my LC properly. However, it was tricky. Ah forget it, it's over. No point fretting over it. Headed to Sherry's crib til 2pm for the next paper which was SS. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Finally, the moment of truth. It went okay for SEQ but not okay for SBQ. Okay I don't wish to elaborate on it. Just know that I did my best! And it's over for SS! *jumps for joy up and down* Tmr will be having both EL paper 1 and 2. Wish me luck! (((((((((: Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Oh well, it's a new month and it's a new day. I fast on the first day but unfortunately, I couldn't continue to do so; PERIOD. So, I had my very first N Level MT Paper today. Welllllllllllll, it was not that bad. However, I'm not confident of getting distinction or so cause mainly, I NEVER ever scored distinction for MT. I only remembered getting an A for PSLE. Sheesh. Seriously, I suck at my own MT. One paper down and errr, few more papers to go. I'm really terrified for tmr's paper. It's the one that I've been mugging hard all along. SOCIAL STUDIESSSSSSSSS. The moment of truth, tomorrowwwwwwwwwwww. I'll be revising my SS notes for the last time today and it's finally it. Oh dang. That's all folks, I'll make this post short and bittersweet cause basically, I'm lazy. zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. |
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